merry christmas! i'm a fat fucking chud
i find the holiday season to be a really good time to contemplate my life. it's the gray area of the year where i can reconcile with myself -- to assess where i'm at in life, basically.
i use this word a lot when writing, but i found this year to be slop. the nothing burger year of my life.
often, i scroll through other people's instagrams just to take a peek at what is ultimately unattainable to me. i find so many pictures of travels & parties & gatherings that seem so daunting to me. how can one not feel drained when socializing that much? i'm already drowsy by living vicariously.
despite this, i still enjoyed myself. i'm not as depressed as i was 1-2 years ago, & i'm certainly happier than i was freshman year. through all the challenges in higj school & life alrogther, i find a sort of solace in knowing that i'm not alone in my struggle.
thousands of people have described 2025 as a filler year. at times, i feel like the most productive thing i've done is get out of bed.
yet, i feel complacent in knowing that i tried my best. i put myself out there & experimented with art & writing & storytelling. i had fun with my friends & made new ones. i had fun
as corny (and pathetic) as it sounds, i enjoyed this year. i started new games & finished old ones. i read a bit of manga & watched shows i never would've tried 2 years ago. it's nice knowing i've definitely changed since freshman year lol
currently watching:
> soul eater
games i'm in the middle of:
> ocarina of time (yes i kno this game is literally 200000 billion years old bru i'm slow)
> the world ends with you
currently reading:
> bakuman
> shaman king
> noragami
> saiyuki
> eureka 7
(i just realized how much is on this list. oops lmao)
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